Adele's Water-Birth Story
On
May 17th, the day before my due date, I was feeling very
weepy and emotional. Mom had been in town for a couple of weeks,
helping with the cooking and entertaining Emilia. A few days ago
she had started a housesit on the other side of town taking care of
someone's dog. She was about 20 minutes away and we had decided that night to meet up at a burger place in town that was about
halfway between our house and where she was staying. Jorge made a
comment during the car ride over that sent me over the edge (of
course, I don't even recall what it was now!), so I cried a bit in
the parking lot before we went in to the restaurant and again once we
were seated. It was embarrassing; I felt as if I had no control over
my emotions whatsoever and I couldn't believe I was THAT lady....the
pregnant lady crying in the crowded restaurant. But then again, most
of my pregnancy had been this way; it was very up and down and I felt
very much out of control when it came to my emotions. We went
home and I tried to relax a bit while Jorge put Emilia to bed for the
night. Looking back now, I know my body was preparing for something
monumental that day. Though I did not consciously realize it at the
time, that outing would be our last as a family of three. A huge shift in our family was about to happen and
my body knew it. Our body's inner wisdom is a powerful
thing, especially in pregnancy and birth!
Though
my midwife had seemed pretty confident that the baby would come
closer to my due date this time, I still felt very certain that I
would go a week late again. I had made peace with the idea of going
past my due date and had spent much of my pregnancy learning to let
go and trust the unknown. For someone like me, who thrives on
schedules and being in control, letting go of any expectations about
the timing of the birth was difficult, but I knew from the experience
of my first birth, that it was an important step towards achieving a
peaceful and joyful natural birth. I had done some birth art to help
me explore my feelings surrounding the labor and birth and my
drawings were taped up on the wall in our bedroom, alongside the
prayer flags I had strung together with words of encouragement and
strength from friends far and near. I felt very prepared and
supported. I had a wonderful birth team, composed of two midwives, a doula, my mother, and Jorge, all of whom helped me feel confident
and supported in our decision to pursue a home birth.
The
next day was May 18th, my official due date, and we went
about the day as usual. Jorge went to work and I dropped Emilia off
at her little daycare for the morning. I stopped by the grocery store
to pick up a few items I wanted to make sure I had on hand for the
labor: some bananas, nuts, coconut water, avocados, and yogurt.
Around noon, I picked Emilia up at school and spent most of the rest
of day cleaning the house and making sure everything was set up for
the baby. In the late afternoon, I began to feel some mild and
sporadic cramping. I'd felt the same cramping a week earlier, mild contractions that came and went for about an hour and then suddenly stopped, so I mostly ignored it and started preparing dinner. I
cooked a simple red lentil soup for dinner and Mom came over to eat
with us. I let Jorge and Mom know I was feeling a little crampy but
to not get too excited as it was probably nothing. I also had a bit
of “bloody show” that day, so I texted my doula, Sam, to give
her a heads up.
By
the time I went to bed around 9:30 or 10:00 p.m., the “cramping”
had become a little more regular, coming every 10-15 minutes and
lasting about 10 to 25 seconds, so I knew these were definitely
contractions. They continued that way all night long. I tried to
rest, falling asleep just briefly until the next surge would wash
over me. The sensation would begin as an achy cramp-like feeling in my
lower abdomen and then gradually build and intensify until my entire
stomach was hard as a rock, before slowly dissipating again. I changed
positions a lot, trying to alleviate some of the discomfort, while
still staying in a position that would allow me to rest. Eventually,
around 3:30 or 4:00 a.m., I gave up on sleep altogether and decided
to move the living room couch to really focus on the contractions and
to try to make them as productive as possible; my goal was to be
super relaxed during each contraction so as to help my cervix open
efficiently and quickly.
I was ready to tackle the hard work of labor
and felt a strong need to be by myself during this time. I knew that
this was the beginning of labor, and though I felt a little nervous,
I also felt powerful, calm, and very peaceful. The next few hours
were probably some of the most productive hours of my labor; I sat on
the couch, by myself in the dark, free from any distractions, words,
noises, people, or lights, and focused entirely on the primal work of
birthing my baby, paying special attention to my breathing and trying
to coax my body into a state of complete relaxation. I found child's
pose, hands and knees, and resting my head and arms over the top of the couch to be
some of the most comfortable positions during this time. I visualized
my cervix opening up during each contraction. I loved the image of a
flower blooming, especially since it was Spring and the trees in our
backyard had just finished producing beautiful large red flowers. In
that darkened room, as dawn slowly washed over me, bathing the room
in a soft light, I thought about those red flowers, slowly opening to
the world, flooding us with their innate beauty and wisdom. I trusted
that my body, much like those flowers, would know exactly what to do.
Unlike
last time when I woke Jorge up early in the night to drive to the
hospital and then we both missed out on two full nights of sleep, I
knew that it was absolutely essential to let him
sleep, so that one of us would be well-rested when baby arrived. I
labored on my own until about 6:00 a.m., when I decided it was time to let him
know what was going on so that he could prepare for the day. I went in to the bedroom and told him I was definitely in labor
and that he should let work know that he wouldn't be in today. I
said, “I think you are officially starting your paternity leave
today!” He sent off a few work emails while I laid next to him and
breathed through a few more contractions. Emi woke up a few minutes
later and Jorge went to get her and started on breakfast. I moved
back to the couch in the living room and texted Mom that I was
definitely in early labor and that she should plan to come soon and
spend the whole day at our house to watch Emi.
Though
I had very little appetite at this point, I tried to eat something to build up
some strength for the task ahead. I managed to have a half of a
banana but quickly felt too nauseous to eat. A little later, Jorge called
Sam (our doula) to update her on my progress and she told us she
would check back in about a half hour to see how we were doing. Mom
arrived a little before 9:00 and started to get Emi ready for her
swim lesson at 9:30. Though Emi could tell something was going on,
I'm not sure she really understood what was happening, or if she did,
she didn't seem to care much. Even though the contractions were
starting to feel pretty uncomfortable at this point, I was able to
remain really calm around her and I think that helped ease any
anxieties she might have felt. During the pregnancy, I had been
unsure how present I wanted her to be for the birth of her sister, so
I made sure there was somebody (Mom) who could be fully dedicated to
her during the labor and birth. I was open to her witnessing the
birth as we had done lots of preparation for it by watching videos of
home births and water births together. I made sure to use language
and videos that showed the normality of birth rather than portraying
birth as a scary event or medical emergency (since, most of the time, it isn't). In the end, I found I
was able to labor more peacefully and comfortably when she was not in
the room with me.
After
Mom and Emi left for swim class, I told Jorge I wanted to try
drinking some coconut water. I had purchased a real coconut a few
days before, so he drilled a hole in the top and emptied the water
into a glass for me (after having spent four years growing up on a
tropical island, it's been a struggle for me to get accustomed to the
taste of canned coconut water!). I managed to drink some of it and it
immediately brought me back to wonderful memories of Tahiti. Jorge
also called Sharon (our midwife) and updated her on my progress. I
was feeling pretty nauseous at this point so I asked Jorge to bring
over one of our little trash cans in case I needed to throw up.
Sharon had suggested over the phone that I try to eat or drink
something since I hadn't had a real meal since the night before. I
asked Jorge to heat up some of the homemade chicken broth we had in
the fridge. I drank a little but the smell was overwhelming, so I
gave up after a while and just focused on the contractions.
Around
10:00 a.m., we called Sam and let her know we weren't exactly sure if
we needed her yet but that things were definitely picking up and she
should prepare to come over at some point that day. She offered to
stop by to check on me and help time my contractions. I agreed but
was thinking we probably wouldn't need her to stay because it was
likely going to be a while until the birth. She arrived about 15
minutes later. Jorge and I had just gotten back from walking around
in the back yard. While outside, I heard the birds and lawn mowers
and the world just buzzing on as usual. I felt the warm midday sun on
my face. It was surreal thinking about the world going on as usual
while something so huge and majestic was happening within the four
walls of our little house. Though I loved being in my backyard while
in labor, walking around actually felt too intense at this
point, so I preferred to be indoors, sitting, and in a more private space. Throughout the whole
process, I kept thinking how wonderful it was to be in my own space
and in the comfort and privacy of my own home; no beeping monitors,
medical equipment, sterile walls, or nurses constantly intruding to
interrupt my birthing space. Just me, my breath, and my encouraging
birth team. It all felt very peaceful and intimate.
Sam
came in and asked how I was doing and if there was anything I needed
to let out or get off of my chest. I said no, that things felt good,
and that I was feeling happy and excited about meeting my baby soon.
At this point, I was convinced I would labor all day and maybe
have the baby at night after Emi went to bed. Sharon had mentioned once that
it was really common for the labor to pick up after moms put their
older kids to bed (a.k.a.: when moms can truly relax!), and I was
really thinking that would happen to me as well. I was still in the
living room with Sam and Jorge, feeling surges every few minutes,
when Mom came home with Emi. I thought it best if I moved to our
bedroom so that I could really concentrate. I also did not want to be
the center of attention; I was definitely craving a darker, quieter,
and more intimate space at that point, where I wouldn't be
interrupted. It felt good knowing that Emi was with Mom; I knew she
was in good hands and that I could truly relax and focus the work
ahead. Sam helped me breathe through the surges while applying gentle
pressure on my lower back, which felt very nice. I had more back
labor this time and during each surge would feel an intense pressure
radiating across my lower back. Counter-pressure really helped ease
some of the discomfort.
I
decided the best position was sitting upright near the corner of the
bed. Jorge left for a while to help Mom prepare some eggs and ham for
lunch while Sam stayed by my side. I had a few contractions on the
bed and then, around 11:00, felt a “pop” followed by a gush of
warm water under me (luckily, Sam and Jorge had already set up the
mattress protector and extra pair of fitted sheets). My
water had broken spontaneously---a new experience for me! A while
later, Sam texted Sharon with the update about my water breaking and
Sharon wrote back asking if I was ready for her to come. I said “Yes,
definitely!” because I knew the surges were about to get more
intense. Around 11:20, Sharon arrived (it turns out she had been
waiting outside of our house in her car, knowing full well that the
birth would happen more quickly than we thought!). She gave me a hug,
and asked how I was doing. I told her I was ok. She asked if she
could check the baby's heartbeat with the doppler and I agreed.
Baby's heartbeat sounded great and I asked if she could check me to
see how far along I was. Things were feeling intense at this point
and I started thinking that if I wasn't at least 6 cm, they could go
ahead and transport me to the hospital for an epidural because I just
didn't think I could deal with the intensity of the contractions for
much longer! (In hindsight, this should've been a sign that I was
most definitely in transition, but I really had no idea and thought I
was going to be dealing with these hard contractions for at least
half a day). Sharon said that since my water had recently broken,
it'd be better to wait a bit before checking to reduce the risk of
infection. I also think she knew I was getting close and that
checking would be an unnecessary interference at this point. I
started to feel like I might be ready for the tub but I told Sharon I
was worried about getting in too soon, having heard about how
getting in the tub too early can sometimes slow down labor, so I told
her maybe it was better to wait (again, I was in total denial about
how far along I was!). I think since I was still able to hold little
conversations in between contractions that no one (especially me)
realized I was actually much closer to birthing my baby than it
seemed.
Jorge
and Sharon left the room for a while to have some lunch and get
supplies ready and I stayed with Sam to work through the next few
hard contractions. After a particularly intense one, I felt very
nauseous and threw up a little in the trash can near the bed. Sharon
came in to give me some homeopathic medicine to help with the nausea.
I told her I thought I was ready for the bath now. She started
filling it up and that's when the contractions got really intense.
Each time one would start I felt like it lasted forever. I would get
a brief break before another would start up again. During each surge,
I braced myself on the bed to deal with the intensity of the wave
that overtook my body and I tried my best to take slow, deep breaths.
I started shaking a bit during each contraction, a definite sign that
I was in transition, though I didn't realize it at the time. At this
point, I also began feeling a very strong downward pressure. Sam
suggested I hang over the side the bed to see if I'd be more
comfortable, but when I tried to move into that position the pressure
was almost unbearable. I decided to stay sitting on the bed until I
could get in the water.
Jorge came in and took over filling up the
tub while Sharon got things ready for the birth. I remember thinking,
“Why on earth didn't I ask them to fill up this thing up sooner?!”
It seemed like it took forever for it to finally be ready,
though I'm sure it was more like 20 minutes. As
soon as the tub was ready, I got undressed and climbed in. The water
felt incredible and though the pressure was definitely still present,
the warm water lessened my discomfort quite a bit. I leaned over the
edge of the tub with Jorge and Sam by my side. My next contraction
was a strong one and I immediately recognized the urge to bear down.
I had started vocalizing quite a bit by now and Jorge reminded
me to keep my throat relaxed by moaning deeply with me during each contraction. The sensations felt very overwhelming, like being taken
over by a force outside of myself. With the next contraction I felt
her head descend, and when I reached between my legs I could feel the
top of a soft squishy head with hair! It was completely surreal. This
was it: my baby was coming and there was no turning back now. The
only way out was through and I braced myself for the next
contraction. It came quickly and I felt the familiar “ring of
fire”. I told everyone it was stinging and Sharon reminded me to
switch to small shallow breaths to slow it down. I did that and felt
her head slowly ease out of my body. “I think the head is out!” I
exclaimed, in disbelief at how quickly it was all happening. “Great!”
said Sharon, casually, as she stood beside the tub and watched. I couldn't
believe I was doing this all on my own and kept wondering when
someone was going to intervene in some way. Sharon was very hands-off
but that was one of the many attributes I loved about her. I trusted
her expertise and knew she would only intervene if she felt it was
necessary.
With
the next contraction out came her shoulders and then the rest of the
body. “She's out!” I said. I looked down, stunned, and saw my
baby floating under the water. Sharon helped me lift her out and
placed her on my chest. I couldn't believe she was here! The pushing
stage had happened so suddenly and quickly that it took me a minute
to catch up with what had just happened. After just 11 minutes of
pushing and about 3 or 4 contractions, Adele Yaretzi had made her way
earthside and into our loving hands at 12:33 p.m, about an hour and
half after my water broke. I laid in the tub for a bit with her on my
chest while Sharon covered her with a towel. As luck would have it,
Emi went down for her nap right around the time I got into the tub,
and Mom had managed to sneak in just as I was starting to push. She
witnessed the whole birth, which was such a blessing! It was very
healing for the both of us to have her present for Adele's birth
after having missed Emi's birth and first few months of life.
Adele
let out a few gurgly cries and looked at us. She was calm and alert.
After a few minutes, Sharon noticed that I was bleeding a bit more
than was normal, so she calmly asked me to step out of the tub to
focus on getting my placenta out, which in turn would help control
the bleeding. The assistant midwife, who lived in San Francisco 45 minutes away, arrived just a few
minutes later (though she missed the birth, she was very helpful with
the immediate postpartum which is when I needed the most help and was very glad to have their combined expertise). I laid on the bed
with Adele on my chest and birthed the placenta about 30 minutes
later. I lost more blood than normal, likely due to my low-lying
placenta (which we knew about during the pregnancy and had known this
was a possibility). I felt very weak immediately after the birth but
didn't realize how bad it was until I tried to get up for the first
time. About two hours or so after the birth, Sharon encouraged me to
get up to try to use the bathroom to pee. I agreed and started to
walk towards the bathroom, which was in our bedroom, just a few steps
away. Right away I knew something was off because I began to feel
very dizzy. Sharon supported me as I walked, but before I was able to
verbalize the dizziness I was experiencing, I collapsed in the
doorway to the bathroom. I had fainted for a few seconds and the
midwives asked me to lay where I fell on bedroom floor while I
recovered my strength. While I laid there for about 45 minutes, Sam
fed me a smoothie and Jorge brought me some leftover eggs and ham.
Those were hands-down the best-tasting smoothie and eggs of my life!
The midwives gave me various tinctures as well as some pills to help
stop my bleeding.
Meanwhile,
Adele received her newborn exam while Jorge held her on the bed. She
weighed 7 lbs 13 oz (a whole pound lighter than her big sister!) and
measured 19.5 inches. She had a bit of fluid stuck in her lungs from
the birth, likely due to how quickly she came out, so we worked on
getting that out using the bulb, but otherwise she was perfectly
healthy. She latched on for the first time about an hour and a half
after the birth. We waited for her to crawl to the breast on her own
and she did it quite well! I did find it a bit hard to be patient as
she tried to find the breast herself but it was also so beautiful
watching her instincts at work. Her latch was strong and I could tell
right away that sore nipples were in my future. (It took about 3
weeks, a lip tie release, some cranial-sacral therapy, and a 3-day
stint of exclusive pumping and finger feeding to help my nipples
fully heal, before it finally felt like breastfeeding was
going well.) A few hours after the birth, Sharon and I agreed that an
I.V. with some fluids would help me regain some strength, so we
started that and I began to feel a bit better. I was completely
preoccupied with my beautiful baby girl and watching her meet her big
sister for the first time to really care much about all of the
postpartum challenges, but I was very grateful for Sharon's watchful eye
and her helpful suggestions. Emi came in to meet Adele after her nap. When I saw them together, I think my heart literally skipped a beat.
In that moment, I was overcome with a feeling that can only be
described as euphoria; my two babies by my side, on my own bed, in my
own bedroom, surrounded by all of these loving women, my mother, and
my amazing husband—it was truly marvelous. Emilia stared at Adele
intently and sat with us for a while before going to get a snack with
Grandma. I think she was a bit shocked but she also seemed to
understand, on some level, the seismic change that had just occurred.
Reflection
Reflection
In
comparing my two births, a few things really stick out as having made
a huge difference in my overall comfort and happiness this time
around. I had no cervical checks whatsoever during my whole labor
with Adele (nor during the pregnancy), which turned out to be such a
blessing in disguise because I did not get stuck on a number or worry
about “being on the clock” like I was in the hospital. In the
hospital, I was checked every couple of hours for over 24 hours and
every time I stalled at a number, everyone (including myself) became
so focused on that number that it was hard to truly relax, let go,
and trust the process. I remember feeling disappointed in myself (and
my body) when I stayed stuck at 6 cm for a while. And then again at 8
cm. I was also very fearful each time the midwife checked me because
I knew that if I hadn't progressed, she would eventually have to
start suggesting interventions (which, after a while, is exactly what
happened). It was a vicious cycle; all of that fear/anxiety was not
helping me progress and the lack of progression was fueling the
fear/anxiety. Once I received the Pitocin my body was no longer my
own and I felt entirely out of control, scared, and disengaged from
the process. I had the distinct feeling that I might actually be
dying, which I never once experienced during Adele's birth.
In
contrast, during my home birth, I was able to completely trust my
body and surrender to the physiological process of labor and birth.
Though I had a few moments of self-doubt, I felt strong and very much
in control this time. I wasn't even aware that I was going through
transition until I noticed my legs shaking while I was sitting on the
bed and soon after felt an intense pressure and urge to push. That's
when I knew we were getting close. Though I hadn't planned on
birthing in the water necessarily, I was open to it, and once I
reached this point in my labor, the water was the ONLY place where I
felt I could manage the pain. I now understand why water births are
such a popular option for women opting for a low-intervention birth!
Though
the immediate postpartum period was definitely the most challenging
part of that birth, I'm thankful to have been in the comfort of my
own home while I recovered and regained my strength over the next few
weeks. Having all of the postpartum and baby checks occur in our
bedroom was nothing short of marvelous. I still can't believe we
expect women to drag themselves to the pediatrician just three days
(or sooner) after giving birth! I cannot stress enough how helpful
and amazing it was for my recovery and my morale to know that I
literally did not have to leave my bed for a whole week (or longer!).
I could rest and cuddle my newborn and have everybody come to me—this
was hands down one of the best parts of having a homebirth midwife.
Sharon also helped tremendously with the breastfeeding issues I
encountered and I truly felt it made a world of difference to have a
lactation consultant in my home, watching the way I was nursing, how
my pillows were set up, etc., and offering suggestions based off of that rather than trying to explain my home set-up during an office visit.
Overall,
it was an amazing and empowering home birth and I will forever
cherish the memories from that day. I feel so blessed to have been
supported by a wonderful and knowledgeable midwife who practiced
evidence-based care and knew exactly when and how to intervene when
it was necessary. I also feel incredibly lucky to have found such a
warm and loving doula, whose words and presence gave me the
confidence to power through some of the tougher contractions and who
provided me with the feminine energy and strength I needed. And most
of all, I'm so thankful to have such an amazing life partner, whose
unwavering support and dedication helped me to feel 100% confident in
our choice to pursue a home birth.
My amazing doula! She knew exactly where to provide pressure on my back during the peak of my contractions and was such a calming and reassuring presence during the whole process. Also, she knew to call my midwife when my water broke when I was still in total denial about how far along I was....thank goodness!
