10 Month Update: Where Has the Time Gone?

My beautiful baby girl is growing up so quickly. In just two short months, she will be turning a year old, and that is something that is hard for me to wrap my head around. We have spent the last three weeks in Los Angeles with both sets of grandparents and she already seems bigger, stronger, more coordinated, and more toddler-like than when we left the bay area just a few weeks ago.

They change so quickly at this age. It's exciting and a little bit sad at the same time. Each day, each little moment, seems so fleeting, like a feather blowing in the wind that is always within reach but never able to be caught. Early motherhood is a funny thing; the days drag on and on at times, and yet, when looking back, time seems to compress in a weird way. Memories are blurred, yet strangely distinct, and the whole thing feels like a movie you just fast-forwarded through. You catch glimpses of the important parts but you wish you could go back and pause time just for a minute to absorb the memory a little better.

I read a lot of mommy blogs these days. One of my favorites, Girl of Cardigan, has a beautiful post entitled “Why I Wear My Daughter—Because You Asked” (for those of you who don't have kids, “wearing” a baby refers to the practice of carrying the baby around in a sling or carrier, so they are attached to your body, rather than in a separate entity, like a stroller).

"I wear her because I prefer our hearts squarely leveled and the space between us perfectly sized for the whispering of secrets and the exchanging of smiles. I wear her because something of the days when we shared one body returns to us, and we are a unit, watching and interacting from the same vantage point...I wear her because my independent, wild, and magical girl is not the sort to cling to my lap in playgroups or resist being passed around rooms. She has never met a stranger, my extroverted wonderful child, and I wear her because the moments of “just us-ness” are fleeting and coveted and selfishly hoarded.  I wear her so I can send her out again, knowing she knows she will soon be back in my arms where I can whisper her secrets and nuzzle that noggin...I wear my daughter because life is short. These precious days when she is small and clutch-able, all tiny grabbing fingers and sweet baby kisses and that incredible incomparable head-smell – these days are mere minutes, here and gone and never to return."

This passage struck a chord with me because it reminded me so much of E. For the most part, my daughter is not the sort to fear being held by new people as long as she gets a chance to warm up to them a bit. She's not the sort to shy away from new situations and she's more independent than I like to admit. In new places, she ventures out confidently to explore, always looking back every now and then to make sure I am still there. I am proud of her confidence, and yet, each day that she grows a little less dependent on me is also a reminder of how quickly she is changing and how fast her first year of life is passing by.

I'm doing my best to journal often, record milestones, take pictures and videos, and relish this sweet time with my baby, but I know that all too soon, she will enter toddlerhood and I'll be chasing after her as she ventures bravely out into the big wide world.